1 month!

I can't believe my baby is a month old today! A month ago today my life changed forever and in that month I have learned to love more than I ever thought possible and not only do I love Owen more than I ever thought I could but I love Alex more then ever! He is such a good dad and loves to take care of Owen and play with him. He is always texting and calling me during the day to make sure he is ok and asking how he is doing! During this month I have realized how blessed I am. During this month Owen has gone through so much and we have been through a lot of stress, but during those experiences we have realized how lucky we are to have a healthy baby and we are so lucky that he was only in the NICU for such a short amount of time. There are so many babies that are in there for months and months and we consider ourselves very lucky. I truly think it was a blessing in disguise. We learned so much from the nurses and it gave us the chance to ask questions and learn things that we would have other wise had to learn the hard way. They taught us the best way to feed and burp him. They taught us how to wrap him in what we call the baby burrito. They taught us tricks to get him comfortable and things to try when he is fussy, since he is not breastfed they taught us things to look for that the formula might be causing such as constipation, and gas. Thank goodness for that because we have had to deal with both and we would have had no idea why he was so upset or why he was throwing up so much. I am so grateful for those nurses and everything they did for us and our little boy. 
When Alex and I decided that I would stay home with Owen instead of going back to work, I thought it was going to be a breeze and thought to myself  "Oh good I will now have time to always have the laundry done, have dinner on the table when Alex gets home and my house will always be clean." That is not the case. Maybe it is just me but I didn't realize how hard it is to get all of those things done with a baby. I thought my house would be cleaner than ever but that is far from true. I spend most of my day cleaning up what we call "the baby bomb". Maybe it is my inability to be organized but I am constantly throwing diapers away, picking up bottles, putting away binkies, gripe water, gas drops, blankets and burp rags. My laundry has never been more of an issue. It might be due to the fact that I hate folding/putting away laundry and that Owen goes through at least two or more outfits a day. I sometimes get down on myself about my inability to get everything done every day and I compare myself to other moms that I think are perfect. Alex gets so mad at me when I do this... So if your life also sounds like this please tell me!!!! My life is messier than ever, but also more perfect than ever!    
 

OWEN AT ONE MONTH!

Weight: 10 lbs 3 oz
Height: 22 1/2 inches
Eating: 4 oz every 3-4 hours
Sleeping: Goes to bed about 10 and wakes up at 4 and then again around 7:30. He won't sleep in his bassinet he has to sleep in his car seat.
Naps: Takes a 4 hour nap in the afternoon and then little cat naps through out the day.
Likes: Formula, Tylenol and gripe water, talking to mom and dad, making faces and playing with his tongue and loves to talk and smile at pictures. He loves his dad and can't wait for him to come home from work every day! 

Sick boy!

Getting better!

He is such a proud dad!

Loves to nap in his boppy!

Fresh from the bath!

One month old!

Then and now!

Love his forehead!

I am so lucky to be this little boys mom. I consider everyday a blessing. This month has gone by so fast and we have learned to much and we are so grateful for everyone who has given us love and support. I can't wait for what is to come and I am so excited to share our little man via this blog.

Rebloggin/Owen

It has been a year since my last post on this thing... I am not very good at the whole blog upkeep thing. And up until now I did not think my life was interesting enough to write about. Having a baby has sure made my life a whole lot more interesting!

The day Alex and I found out we were having a boy! 

The day my life changed forever! 

After nine of the longest, sickest months of my life our little Owen finally made his grand entrance into the world. After a very sleepless night we woke up January 24 in a panic. Like most things with first time pregnancy every little thing can send you into panic mode... asking yourself is the baby okay? Should I be worried? Is something wrong? I had asked myself that question many many times during my pregnancy, but this time was different. I had been not feeling well the whole week leading up to this day so when I woke that morning to quite a bit of blood I started to panic! At no point in your pregnancy is blood a good sign. I called the hospital to make sure I shouldn't be freaking out and they told me that they thought everything should be fine. Luckily I had a doctors appointment already scheduled for the day and they told me to talk to my doctor about it then. So away we went to the doctors office with me feeling miserable and GIANT! As soon as the doctor saw me she told me to head to the hospital and she would see us there later. This really sent me into panic mode. I had been waiting for this moment for nine long months and now that it was finally here I was terrified, but off we went to the hospital. Knowing that once I got to the hospital they wouldn't let me eat anything we decided to stop at the gas station for some snacks. We are in the gas station looking at the chips and what should happen? My water broke! Right there in the middle of Mavrik! I looked at Alex and I was like "We have to go right now! My water just broke!" As we got to the hospital everything seemed like such a blur. They took me to my room and hooked my up to all these monitors and started asking me about a million and a half questions. Then they brought Alex in and we both just looked at each other! I was thinking this is going to be the last time we are alone together for a long time. They hooked me up to my IV and that is when things really got started. My contractions got stronger and I started to get more and more nervous. Having a baby for the first time is so scary. It was for me anyway. I like to have a plan and know exactly what is going to happen, but there is no way that someone can prepare you for labor. As the day progressed family started to showing up. Of course my mom was the first to show up, then my cousin Sommer (who somehow became a key role in my pregnancy, she lived close by and seemed to always be there first one there when I needed to go to the doctor or the hospital for one thing or another.) Alex's parents showed up and then right before the action really started my dad and sister showed up. The day seemed like the longest day of my life. There are so many things that happened that it would take me about six pages to share every detail. So we will just stick to the basics... After they gave me my epidural things started to progress a lot faster and a lot less painfully! I high recommend them to anyone having a baby. I finally got dilated to a 6 and then things seemed to go to a stand still I stayed at that point for hours and hours! Finally at around 11 PM they checked me again and discovered my water hadn't fully broken and that was keeping me from dilating anymore. Two hours later they told me I was fully dilated and should be ready to push at anytime. But said to wait until I felt the urge to push which didn't happen for about another hour. I finally felt ready to push but then the real panic set it and I started to doubt myself and my ability to get this baby out. I have never been more scared in my life. The last thing I wanted was to have a C-section. So I decided right then that if I didn't want a c-section I better push with everything ounce of strength I had left. (Which wasn't much because I hasn't eaten anything in 12 hours.) I pushed for about 45 minutes and then they called the doctor and once she got there it took 3 more pushes and he was out. 2:41 AM January 25th is the exact time my whole world changed and about the time my heart stopped beating and I felt my first feel of motherly love, pain and heart break. As I laid on the bed unable to move I started to realize something was wrong and there was nothing I could do. My baby wasn't crying  and the room started to fill with more and more nurses. I kept asking "Why isn't he crying? Why isn't he crying?!?" and no one would answer me! My panic started to grow as I saw the look of panic on my moms face and my mother in laws face as they too began to realize something was wrong. After about two minutes of no crying two nurses came running in with a giant bag that said emergency on it. At that point everything kind of went into a blur I felt like I was dreaming and my dream delivery was out the window. There was no holding my baby right after or trying to breast feed, there was no feeling of joy and happiness. There was only panic and uncertainty. And still no one was telling me what was happening. After what seemed like an eternity but what I am sure was only minutes. One the NICU nurses that had run in looked at Alex and said "Are you the dad?" Alex just nodded looking terrified himself and she goes "k follow me!" And then my husband and my baby were gone and so were all the nurses. In a matter of minutes I had delivered my baby and without my even seeing him he was gone and my room was left empty with me unable to move and my mom, mother in law and sister stuck there not knowing what was happening. I sat there and cried and cried and cried and still no one came to tell me where my baby was and what went wrong. A life time later Alex came back and showed me my first glimpse of my perfect little boy. It was only a small picture of my sweet little boy with monitors and cords coming off his little body and oxygen coming out of his nose. I began to cry again as they told me what happened and that I couldn't go see him until my epidural had worn off. I didn't see my little man until 6:30 AM. I had to lay there just wondering for over 3 hours. I was doing everything I could think of to make my epidural ware off faster I was trying to lift my legs and and bend my knees! I just wanted to get to my baby ASAP! They kept telling me I should try and get some sleep but that was not about to happen with my baby in the NICU and I hadn't even seen him yet! Finally the nurse came in and helped me walk for the first time which is like a tin soldier walking ha ha. And I only walked far enough to get in the wheel chair and make sure I was able to walk. We couldn't get to the NICU fast enough and it seemed like I couldn't get washed up fast enough. You have to scrub to the elbow with a brush and then wear this gown so you don't expose the babies to too many germs. When I finally got to hold him it was like I could finally breath. He looked so miserable and sick but I knew that since Alex and my dad and father in law had given him a blessing that he was going to be okay. I held him for about a half an hour and I was finally calm enough to sleep and my pain meds had set in and I was falling asleep holding him. I just wanted him to come back to the room with us so badly! Later that day my nurse came in and told me she was going to get my baby and I was so happy I couldn't stand it. When he came back he still didn't look great but I figured they wouldn't send him back if he wasn't ready. Later during the day he started breathing really weird but I just figured it was his way of trying to get all the stuff out of his lungs still but at midnight they came back and told us he was going back to the NICU because his breathing was concerning. I thought they were playing some kind of sick joke on me but no they weren't and there I was bawling all over again and hyperventilating too the point that they had to give me drugs to calm me down. They gave me zanex and ambian. NEVER TAKE AMBIAN!! But that is a whole different story! I woke up the next day to the doctor telling me that I would have to leave the hospital without my baby. You never plan for that and I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I couldn't imagine leaving him there. Sunday morning came and we started packing all our stuff an getting ready to leave. I cried the whole time! Then the nurse came in to walk us out and asked where our baby was and I lost it all over again. And didn't stop all the way home. I didn't stop until I fell asleep and when I woke up my face was so swollen it looked like I had been hit in the face. At this point it was Sunday night and we thought he was coming home Monday. Monday morning came and the doctor called to inform us that he was not coming home Monday because he was still showing signs of an infection and told us to hope for Thursday. Everyday we went to see him twice a day. Every time he looked better and better. He was finally able to come home Thursday afternoon. It was the best day ever! I was so grateful for all those nurses in the NICU for saving my baby and taking care of him while I couldn't. I have never been more grateful for modern medicine without which I would have lost my sweet boy. I am so grateful every time I hear my little man cry because I always remember what it felt like to not hear it. I now have my little man with me every day and to know he is healthy and happy!