Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Things they don't tell you when you become a mom...

This week I had a bit of a scare with Owen and almost had to call 911. It made me think of all the things I wasn't prepared for and wasn't told about when I became a mom. I compiled a list of 10 things that I wasn't told and had to learn through my own experience.


1. I don't know why I didn't realize this before hand, but after you give birth your body really really hurts. I was not prepared for this at all. I knew giving birth would hurt and that is why you get an epidural but no one told me how much you hurt when the epidural wears off.

2. Something could go wrong. No one told me that something could wrong during delivery. I was blind sided when my delivery didn't go exactly as planned.

3. Breast feeding is NOT easy. As natural and amazing as it is, it is anything but easy. (for most) I always thought that breast feeding came naturally to most woman, but when I decided it wasn't for me and my son, I realized that it isn't easy for most women and takes a lot of commitment and work and then even after all that work sometimes it still doesn't work out. No one told me that it wouldn't come naturally or that it wouldn't come at all. For a long time I felt like I was a bad mom for not breast feeding my son, but the more moms I talked to the more I realized I was not alone.

4. No matter how you raise your child someone will always have an opinion and something to say. No one told me that people I don't even know would try and tell me how to raise my son. And put in their opinion on things they think I am doing wrong.

5. No one told me that even if you dress your son in all blue with a football helmet on, or you put your daughter in bright pink with 12 bows across her head, some crazy person will call your daughter a boy or your son a girl.

6. No one told me that it is inevitable that your child will CHOKE and you will panic and forget any CPR training you have ever had. This experience is what made me write this post and after talking to other moms I found that I am not a bad mom for letting this happen and that it happens to every mom at some point.

7. No one told me that after I left the hospital I wouldn't be the same size I was before pregnancy. This is something they should drill into your head while you are pregnant and not only will you not be the same size right after but that your body WILL NEVER be the same. I don't care if you are the skinniest person, before, after and during pregnancy. There is just something that happens to your body and it will never be the same.

8. No one told me that I would never sleep like a teenager ever again. After having a child you can wake to the sound of a pin drop. When you're pregnant you don't sleep because you can't get comfortable but after you can't sleep because you're afraid something will happen to your child while you're asleep.

9. No one told me that my time would never be my own again. After you have a child you plan everything you do around your children. When they eat, when they need a nap... And everything you do take 100 times longer than it ever did before. Running into the post office takes 10 minutes instead of 3 because you have to get them out of the car seat and back into the car.

10. No one told me that I could love someone so much. I never thought it was possible to love someone so much that I could kill for them. But after having a child you will know that nothing would stop you from protecting them.

Motherhood is the hardest job I have ever had but also the best. I just wish there was some parenting class out there that would prepare you for any possible thing that happens in your child life. I know not possible but I still wish.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

2 years!

Since this weekend marks two years being married. I have decided what better time to share our story. 

Alex and I first met at a football game at Utah state. In September 2010. That day was a rushed meeting and we had no clue that we could meet again let alone be married less than a year later. We met at USU's homecoming game and at most exchanged a hello nice to meet you and he was gone. My friend Whitney and I went to the game with a bunch of Alex's friends and sat and hung out with them for the game and most of the night after the game. Alex however thought he was far too cool and didn't sit with us at the game and didn't want to hang out with us after. Thus why I concluded we would never really meet. 
Through out the next couple of months we would meet a handful of times through us handing out with his friends. This whole time I never knew him, hung out with him or really talked to him. I only knew him as Riley's friend doodle... Yes doodle. From September to November I thought his real name was Kevin. I will never know how I came up with that. Around November we had our first real conversation. We sat in Utah states student center and discussed that his name was not Kevin and then he made me guess his real name. After about a half hour we went our separate ways and never thought anything of it. During thanksgiving break his friend Riley asked me on a date little did I know this would lead me to marry his best friend. Needless to say Riley and I did not work out. After our date we realized we were better off just friends. A couple days later later Riley was sitting on my bed and we were talking about girls he liked and about the boy I had just broken up with. I was telling him how I had tickets to the motab Christmas concert and now had no one to go with. He offered to go with me but I could tell he wasn't that excited to go on another one on one date. And told me of I couldn't find anyone else he would go with me. At that exact moment he got a call from "doodle". As he talked I had this random thought to ask HIM to the concert. I truly believe this was inspired because I had hardly met this kid and knew nothing about him. But I asked Riley if he thought "doodle" might want to go with me. With a strange look he said he thought he might. It's really sad to text a guy and have to explain who you are and ask of he remembers you. But I did it anyway and he said of course he remembered me. I later found out he thought I was Whitney and thought Whitney was me...and he had to look me up on Facebook. I asked him to the concert and he said he would go. It wasn't for a couple weeks so a coulpe day later he asked me to go on a predate to get hot chocolate. I was really nervous that I wasn't going to like him and then I would have to endure another date with him, since I had already asked him to the concert. But we say drinking hot chocolate and talking forever. It was like we had known each other forever! I remember thinking when we left Starbucks that I didn't want to go home and he must have read my mind because he asked if I wanted to watch a movie so away we went to his friend kellens house... Little did I know that kellen didn't live at kellens house anymore because he was married so we watched a movie at kellens parents house. Which was... Strange. After that first date we were pretty much inseparable. Since that day we have either hung out or talked on the phone. It didnt take me long to realize that i wanted to spend forever with him. We started dating in November and we were engaged by February. I always said I wasn't going to be that typical young Mormon girl who got married super fast. But I guess it really is true that when you know you know. I am so grateful for Alex and how hard he works for our little family. I am so lucky to have him. Happy 2 year to us!! 

Saturday, June 15, 2013

4 Months!

On may 25th Owen turned four months. I can't believe he is so big already. The last four months have gone by so fast. 

At four months Owen is...
Rolling over, sitting up, sleeping from 9-9, he loves bananas, carrots, squash and sweet potatoes, he loves to play in his bouncer and make lots of noise. 
He is 16.3 lbs and 27 in. Tall! He is the size of the average six month old!! And a little smarty pants too!!

Everyday is a new and exciting adventure with this little boy and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I love him more than words can ever express. 

Owen sitting up on his very own!!!

Owen swimming for the first time!!!
O is such a happy drooly baby!! Love him to infinity and beyond! 

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Piece of my heart!

Yesterday was a day filled with emotion. I took a trip down memory lane to a place that has a piece of my heart. Cache Valley holds so many of my most precious memories. It is where I went when I first left home and is where I matured from a young high school senior to a more mature wife, this place is where I grew up, where I met some of my best friends and where I met and fell in love with my husband, it is where we were married and began our lives together. Today I visited a place I try to avoid because it brings me to tears. That place is Utah State. When I woke up this morning I knew today would be hard. I have missed Utah State since the day I left. The emotions began when I saw a friend and old roommate. Seeing her reminded me of my college/single life. While I do not miss being single I miss the people I was surrounded by when I was single. I miss waking up everyday to the cool cache valley air and getting on the packed shuttle that smelled of wet dog and sweaty boy. I miss walking on USU's campus with the leaves/snow crunching under my feet. I miss sitting in the TSC waiting for Alex to get out of class and most of all I miss the simplicity of my life. The years I spent there were the most care free years of my life. I would never change the life I have now for the life I had then, but I do miss it. And a small part of me longs to be that care free girl again. I may never call Logan home again but it was my home for three great years and it will always hold a place in my heart. As I walked through the empty campus pushing my son in the stroller I couldn't help but feel emotional. This place changed me and it helped make me the person I am today. My eyes filled with tears as I realized how much I missed it. I sat on a bench I have sat on many times. I sat there thinking back on all the good times I had there, and the people I met there. I could picture myself as a young freshman and how scared I was my first morning, I pictured myself walking through campus all bundled with frozen nose hairs. I pictured myself napping on the quad and As I walked back to my car with my sweet son in toe. I hoped with all my heart that Owen would someday come to love this place as much as I do. The Bilodeau's are Aggies for life!

My favorite building on campus!
Such a pretty campus.
Each of these holds memories!
While I hated this apartment, it also hold many of my best memories!
Where Alex kissed me for the 1st time!
Our first home as a married couple.

Logan Temple where Alex and I were married.

Some of the best people I have ever met, I met in Logan!
Alex Bilodeau
Mindy Thornly
Katie Bowdidge
Whitney Morgan
Ashley Cabrales
And some of the randoms I met along the way!

My future little Aggie!


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Loving myself against the odds...

I was inspired tonight while reading a friends blog. The last three months have been without a doubt the best months of my life and have been filled with more love than I could have ever imagined. But in these months I have had a hard time loving myself and have been so hard on myself. I am usually pretty hard on myself but these last months I am constantly comparing myself and telling myself I am not good enough and I'm not doing enough as a wife and mother. While reading my friends blog I realized that while I have been comparing myself there is someone else out there that feels the pressure of motherhood just like I do and it's okay. It's ok that for the last week I haven't put make up on once, it's okay that my laundry pile is so big I could swim in it, it's okay that I haven't lost any baby weight and it's okay that sometimes I miss a shower because I'm too exhausted. So today is the day I am taking a vow to love myself a little more and to make improvements everyday to make loving myself a little easier. Starting today I will not look in the mirror and belittle myself, I will no longer let myself feel intimidated by those I think are better than me. Today I will be more positive and confident. And on the days I am feeling low I will do my best to keep my head held high and smile through it. Because I'm worth it and loving myself allows me to love others more. Thank you Rachel for being an answer to prayers and helping me to see that imperfect is okay and I am not alone.

I hate selfie pictures but here is one anyway! So here's to me and learning to love myself against the odds!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

A lot to blog about...

Ok so it has been a long time since my last post. Owen and I were able to go to Arizona for a little bit of sun, Owen turned two months, He got his first set of shots and met the Easter Bunny.

My mom, sister, Owen and I got to go on a little girls to trip to Arizona for a couple days. It was so nice to get out of this cold weather and enjoy some days by the pool. Owen did not think that the pool was all that great, ok he hated it, but it was nice to sit with my feet in the water and enjoy the warm weather. He did love that it was warm outside and he got to just hang out with out pants on. He loves anytime he doesn't have to wear pants.

Enjoying the nice weather at the pool!

Shorts, sandals and shades!

Love hanging out at the Mesa Temple!
 Owen turns two months
On March 25 Owen turned two months. I can't believe he is already two months (now almost three). He is getting so big and is so much fun to watch. I think he gets bigger everyday. He is now laughing and smiling all the time.
Weight: 12.9 lbs
Height: 24 inches
Clothes: He now wears 3-6 months or 6 months.
Eats: formula and rice cereal
Sleeps: 9 PM to 6 AM
Naps: about an hour every two hours.
He now sleeps in his bassenet!! YEAH!!!
Likes: his dad, bath time, singing 5 Little Ducks and 5 Little Monkeys, sitting in the bumbo, being carried in the baby backpack, going on walks in the stroller and being the center of attention.

The day we brought him home and at two months!

First time not sleeping in his carseat at night!

Lovin his duck and Bumbo!
Owen got his first set of shots. I was so nervous, I had to take him by myself because Alex had to work. I felt so bad for the kid. He was in such a good mood and talking and laughing and then bam instant screaming. Poor kid! I was so proud of myself. I held back the tears even though I really wanted to cry because I felt so bad. He hated the nurse after and gave her the dirtiest look. It was so funny. He only cried for about a minute and then he was totally fine and fell asleep after a nice yummy dose of Tylenol.  The rest of the day he was his happy playful self. I think the whole experience was worse for me then it was for him. The worst thing was they didn't have one of the five shots so he had to go back the next day. I felt so bad for the little squish but he didn't even cry! He was so tough!

Before shots! Poor kid had no idea what was coming!

Got a cute little scooby do band aid!

Happy little fella right after!
Owen celebrated his first Easter! Obviously he found it super exciting being only two months old and all. He did get to meet the Easter Bunny, I am sure next year he won't be as happy in the picture. We decided since he has no idea what is going on for holidays being this little we wouldn't do an Easter basket but my mom did get him a cute duck and frog that squeek and he loves them!  Easter sunday was the first Sunday little man went to church. I had him in a cute little easter church outfit and he slept through all of sacrament and then decided with ten minutes left that he would wake up screaming so... we left! Needless to say no one saw the cute Easter outfit.

Ready for Easter Sunday!

Seeing the Easter Bunny!
The last two months have been the best two months of my life! This little boy has brought so much joy to my life and I love him more than I ever thought possible. I am so blessed to be a mom and a wife and I try everyday not to take them for granted. While some might not see my life as glamorous being a stay at home mom, I find it to be the best job anyone could ever hope to have. I would not change a thing. At night sometimes I stay awake wishing I could just press pause and hold the moment forever because I think it is so perfect. My life is not glamorous, it's messy and perfectly imperfect!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Counting my blessings and naming them one by one...

Usually I am one who plans my blog posts out for days and I think about the topic a little before I write about it, but today is different. I had an overwhelming feeling of joy on multiple occasions today as I realized how truly blessed I am. Sometimes I feel like I am bragging when I talk about how blessed my life is but today bragging or not I am going to share because I think that is what Heavenly Father would like me to do. So here I am counting my blessing and naming them one by one...
I woke this morning to a ragging head ache and to a crying baby. Two things that do no mix and make for a cranky mom but here is where blessing #1 comes in he goes by Alex and he is the most amazing husband anyone could ask for. Even though it was my turn to get up with Owen my sweet husband got up with the little man so that I could sleep even though he had to work early. As the day progressed my head ache did not go away and little boy would not nap but wanted to desperately. So I strapped him in his car seat and to the car we went me in a huff being tired and ornery. As I drove blessings #2 and #3 came into play. Small as this may be today I felt blessed for the ability I have to go to McDonalds and buy a coke for my ragging head and blessing 3 the beautiful car that I have that allows me to go to McDonalds. Stupid I know but today I am so grateful for both. As I came home I began to stress about the fact that my house is a mess and I have no energy to clean or make dinner. But as this thought came into my head I realized how blessed I am to have a home and that today it's ok if it's a little messy. So blessing #4 Blessed to have a home clean or dirty. I walked upstairs and got on my computer while talking to a friend blessing #5 flooded over me with more emotion then I expected. His name is Owen and he is my most priced possession. It brought me to tears thinking about how blessed I am to be his mom, as I looked at my sweet boy finally sound asleep I felt more love for this little boy then I ever have before. I don't know why it hit me so strong today but I am so blessed to have him in my life. As I thought about my love for him blessing #6 and probably my most favorite blessing of the day came to my mind. I thought about how blessed I am to be able to spend every minute of everyday with him. So many moms have to leave their children at some point during the day for work and I am lucky enough to not miss one minute of my little squishes day and that is the best blessing any mom could ask for. A day that started as a struggle because of a sleepy, grumpy mom turned into a day that the Lord decided to help me turn around by pointing out my greatest blessings. I am so grateful for the reality check. So here is a recap of the top six things I am grateful for today!


#1 Alex Bilodeau

#2 Diet Coke

#3 My Car

#4 My house

#5 My son Owen

#6 Staying home with my son